If you've been following me on Instagram, you know that I've had the worst week of my life.
Last Monday, April 27th, my husband passed away.
He had a heart attack.
He was only 32.
Nothing can ever prepare you for something like this.
I don't know how to grieve the loss of the person I loved the most in this world.
I don't know how to navigate through life without him.
We'd been together for over 11 years-that's over a third of my life.
How do you go on living without someone who has been there every single day for over a third of your life?
My husband was my most favorite person ever. He made me laugh, on a daily basis.
In fact, he made everyone laugh. It was a gift he had, and the reason that I fell in love with him all those years ago. I've spent a lot of the last 10 days remembering all the good times that we had and sharing stories with those who loved him.
And what I've found is that it's almost impossible to think about Wes and not laugh.
He would want us to laugh.
Which is why I'm writing this post.
I went back and forth over how to write this post without seeming like I'm not "grieving properly" or like I'm not "sad enough" (because the truth is, I'm very sad....I've never been so sad).
But I know that Wes would have done anything to make people laugh, and what I'm about to share is guaranteed to make you laugh.
Last Tuesday, after I had been out of school only 1 day, a coworker of mine brought over some letters that my students had written for me. After reading these letters multiple times (and spending hours laughing about them), I knew I had to share them with the world.
He would want me to.
So here goes....
How to Grieve the Loss of Your Husband
by 3rd Graders
"Keys for losing someone you love:
-Do not cry forever!"
"Dogs will keep you company."
"We hope you get over the fact that he is gone."
"We hope you will get happy someday."
"Don't worry you're not alone-you have your dogs.
You can also find someone else and you're way pretty enough.
Mr. Lemacks doesn't want you to mope around."
"You can't run away from your sadness."
"I hope you are okay. I am sad, too.
Can you please come back and teach?"
"You should do what he would want you to do, which is being you."
"Here are some happy symbols to cheer you up."
(a flower, a smiley face, a heart, "I love you")
"Your husband was a good man, but cheer up! He is very happy in heaven."
"Think about the good things in your life right now."
"You just need to sit down and eat chocolate.
Also, if you can pray for him and come back to teach us, we miss you."
"Don't worry-your husband is in heaven."
(along with a picture of my husband as an angel, captioned "Your Dear Husband")
"Heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven..."
And my absolute FAVORITE one...
"Life does not go the way you want.
Please come back."
I also found this piece of paper. It was folded up and taped to the inside of one of the cards.
Apparently, they started a petition for me to come back...
So, I'm going to take the advice of my third graders:
I'm going to eat chocolate.
I'm going to keep my dogs as company.
I won't run away from my sadness.
I won't cry forever.
I love you, Wesley Lemacks.