I am coming to you today with a very heavy heart, and I wanted to share with you all something that I have been struggling with for quite some time.
Anyone that knows me knows that I want to be a mother. I am the youngest of five, and have always wanted a big family. My hubby is from a much smaller family, so our visions didn't exactly match, but we both want kids.
What some people don't know is that we have been trying for almost 3 years to start our family. We haven't always tried consistently every month for those years, but I would say about 80% of the time. We did take a break when we moved to Atlanta a few years back, but started trying again once we were settled.
When we finally moved back to Augusta last May, we decided it was time to seek help. I went to the doctor and told her all about my struggles. She assured me that everything would be fine, but she would run some tests just to make sure. Of course, this meant the hubby would be subjected to some tests as well, which he was not excited about!
But he was all cleared by the doctor, so the focus turned to me. After completing some tests, the doctor told me that I was not ovulating and prescribed me to two different medications: Metformin and Clomid. I started taking Metformin first, and then started the Clomid two months later.
Well, I have now been taking Clomid for about 5 months and....nada. The doctor told me she would only allow me to take it for six months before referring me to a specialist.
The drug is doing its job, though, as I have been having regular positive ovulation tests. For some reason, though, we have still been unable to get pregnant.
My husband and I are at the age where most of our friends our married with children. Actually, we have been married for longer than most of our friends, yet they have all had children before us...some even multiple children! I am always so happy for each couple when I hear they are expecting, but a part of me cannot help but grieve for myself.
I got a text yesterday from a close friend that said she was expecting. My reaction? I immediately burst into tears...
Then I felt completely awful because a good friend would just feel joy. However, I can't help but think..."When will our time come?"
I wanted to share this with yall, because infertility is something that I struggle with each day. I feel like I am a complete let down for my husband, and spend each month praying that this will be the month.
Can anybody relate to my story? I need some encouragement and positivity yall. Any recommendations on what our next steps should be???
Sorry to bring the mood down today, but I just felt as if I needed to get this all out.